I am not usually a frequenter of 'Public Conveniences', however, after a gallon of tea one's normally cast iron bladder is want to be a little rusty on a cold morning in a London Market. Fortunately for me, the 'conveniences' at Old Spitalfields Market are really clean and smell fresh.
As I am want to do when I have time on my hands, I ponder. At my age, this is akin to the physical form of the philosophical activity of 'pondering,' 'pottering,' but that is another story.
Recently, I have been pondering on the issue of etiquette while 'doing what comes naturally,' publicly:
- Keep eyes straight ahead at all times when accompanied by others
- NEVER get into conversation
- Never linger longer than is absolutely necessary
- Never shake too many times
- Never expose more than is absolutely necessary for the 'job in hand'
- Wash hands and vacate the premises as swiftly as possible
One of my pet hates, is chewing gum, and one only has to look outside tube stations and fast food restaurants to see why. I am disgusted at the patination on the streets of paving stones iron clad with casually discarded chewing gum.
When it comes to urinals though, I am a little more relaxed about the issue, and my above rules of etiquette are slightly altered when one is alone. I have noticed that the urinals ALWAYS contain lumps of chewing gum in various shades and hues in the drain. After pitying the poor soul who will have to get their hand in there and clean it out, I must admit that I entertain myself by aiming at the said offending item or items, reliving school yard antics of the pre-teenage children's game for boys; 'Who can pee the highest against the wall?'
I am now nearly 50, but there seems to be an inherent urge in the male of the species to 'aim' at anything in our sights. Is this genetically programmed so that we don't 'hit the seat?' A form of genetic Chivalry toward our female counterparts? Any answers to quandary will be much appreciated.
As you might imagine from my introduction, Thursday at Spitalfields was very slow, with plenty of time to ponder and potter! lol
Although many people would have been paid on Thursday, being the last day of the month, it was also half term for the schools, and many people must have gone away for a break. It did not make for a good day and stimulation had to come from other sources!!
Polishing has lost a lot of its shine (or rather, everything that can be polished to within an inch of its life, has been polished)! There are only so many ways that you can arrange and rearrange the stall within ten minutes, and my chest is beginning to hurt from the many, many cigarette breaks to relive the boredom!
Fortunately, the gentleman on the stall behind us was a very entertaining Frenchman called Michel. Having told him that we are going to visit the Paris Markets on foot, via the Eurostar, he regaled us with anecdotes of the perils of the Gare du Nord customs officers. He believed that they were trained by the Gestapo, before being thrown out for brutality!
It would appear that if you do not have a receipt for everything that you have bought, that they will keep you for hours in detention, disrupting your travel arrangements and making you miss your train. 'But they don't give out receipts at markets!' I cried. 'Exactly my point!' he stated triumphantly. The way around this is to take your own receipt book and get them to fill it in for you when you make a purchase, thus you are covered with the Nazis of Gare du Nord when they stop you, as they surely will. And with a gallic purse of the lips and gentle nodding of the head, his point was made and emphasized, creating terror in the would be innocent market trader of the 'Beasts of the Frontier!'
With that, Michel was off to a meeting 'for an hour,' asking us to keep an eye on his stall. He must have gone via Gare du Nord, as it was about 4 hours before he returned! lol
Another of our 'entertainments' at the markets is Noel Bensted (http://www.noel-bensted.co.uk/), Talented artist and 'Newbie Market Trader' like us. He has a great collection of Ethnographic artifacts that he has collected from around the world (unfortunately, I cannot find this website, so I will update with it after I see him tomorrow at Chiswick Car Boot Sale).
Noel is a gentle soul, witty and suffering similar problems to ourselves with the insecurity of market trading. During the morning at Spitalfields, he came over and asked if we had seen the elephants foot (see previous posting for the relevance of it). It had come running back to a stall near us, and not the stall of the trader who had bought it! To paraphrase that great British Philosopher, Ricky Tomlinson (aka Jim Royle), 'My collection; My arse!'
Because we have all done so badly this week, Noel and ourselves will be sharing a stall at Chiswick Car Boot, as previously stated, to try to recoup some of our losses of the last week or more. This will entail a 3am start, even though it is just up the road, and the gates do not open until 6 am. Apparently it is on a first come first served basis, and the queue to get a pitch stretches back for miles by 4 am! (I am not normally going to bed before 2.30 am! I really do not want to do it, as it is open air and there is rain forecast for the morning. At least it ends about 1 pm, so I might get a nap before my Sunday Evening 'X Factor' fix!! lol
Toward the early evening, we were visited by a couple of friends, Sula Hula, (Trolly Dolly on Executive Jets via BMI) and Anita A (Trolly Dolly with Easy Jet via BMI). They really brought colour and fun to an otherwise flat day, and as it was Anita's 25th anniversary of being in the airline industry, we arranged to meet at a pub in Shepherds Bush later in the evening.
Having made a loss of about £16, we packed the car and headed off to meet the ladies, however, all was not lost as a notification came through that we had sold an item on e-bay that gave us a slight profit on the day.
A couple of my customary Stella Artois, lead to a few more, and I went to bed rather jolly!! lol
Join Noel and ourselves if you can at Chiswick Car Boot this Sunday (http://chiswickcarbootsale.com/) between 8 am and 1 pm, or at Covent Garden between 5.30 am and 5.30 pm.
